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This Is About Suicide I Hope You Enjoy It
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I have trusted u wit am life the past 4 and half years... they have been great we have
grown so close and luv is all I have eva felt for u.. but last night that all changed.. i am no longer ur sister... i
now hate u i feel more envy and pain then ever... I learned our whole exsistence has been a lie.. that nuttin i have
eva said or done has realli ment anything to u..i thought i new u better then any one else...i thought that u realli cared..
but i guess that was all jus a lie... ma life is wasting away between u and ma mom and i cant take it any more...people
say to me well ur jus goin threw a dramamtic stage where ur life has to be so horrible.. well at least that wat ma mom said
to me .. then she said sorri but i dun have the time to deal wit that... so apparently my mom doesnt have the time for me
in her life... thas no suprise...i am not angry at her nor m i jealous or anything like that..i totally understand that...
i hope she has a very happy life and has great success in the rest of her life...but ma friend hes a whole different story..
he has crushed me to the ground...i care bout him way more then he cares bout me... well aint that jus too bad... hmmm ok
this is gettin long and realli gay to read.. but hey people i am fine wit ma life bin ova no biggy on ma part.. i wont actualli
kill maself cuz that is jus plain ummm selfish... i dun wanna hurt those people that seriously do luv me and care bout me..
like ma mom and sister and best friend... but this is a suicide note to maself.. a note tellin every1 good bye from the inside..
ma soul is dead.. but my body isnt...sooo bye
Suicide is not the answer!!!
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I know it may seem like the whole world is crashing on your shoulders, the pain is to much
for you to take. You'd rather get rid of it by fighting pain w/pain and pain w/death.
You dont understand
what it is like to be the family member suffering from the loss of a suicide victim. Do you know how hard that is? My grandfather
was having some problems so his doctor gave him some medicine. Now, my grandfather was a heavy drinker, sometimes to the point
of alcoholism, and drank beer or liquor with his pills. This mix caused him to fall into depression and things started going
wrong. So one day, at the restaurant my grandparents owned, my grandmother and grandfather were fighting. That night ended
with a bullet through someone's head. That head was my grandfather's. He's dead now and has been for years. My grandmother
had to clean the blood and things that are too gruesome to mention on this site. My grandmother has never been the same. Now
I don't have a grandfather, all because of something that didn't need to happen.
Please....think twice
before you pick up that gun or that knife, I know it is hard to see that people love you right now, but they do. Don't cause
them any more pain, don't be selfish. Live for them, and the pain will cease.
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I was only fifteen
a helpless lonely teen
maybe I didn't get enough support
my
parents were so misunderstanding
that was the fall I met my new friend
a friend called drugs
since I couldn't get
my opinion heard by my parents
I'd lose myself in the numbness of a high
it was so easy
until the day my parents
found the drugs
i always told myself if I got caught
that's where I'd end my life
so the next day
I said i was
gonna take a shower and go to sleep
except an eternal sleep is what i had in mind
i swallowed well over 500 tylenol
and
50 coumadin blood thinners
i placed my note that I'd written the night before
next to my bed
the ink had run from
where I'd cried on it
i felt so guilty
so I turned on some music
and laid down to die
i woke up 4 hours later
puking
all over myself
that's when my mom walked in
and discovered what I'd done
they put me in the car
that's all I
can remember of the trip
to the hospital
the next thing I know
I'm in a wheel chair
then on a bed with a doctor
screaming my name
saying don't fall asleep
stay with us
then they made me try and drink liquid charcoal
to absorb
the pills
i couldn't keep it down
so they ran a tube down my nose to my stomach
(i can't tell you how painfull that
is)
finally i was moved to the intensive care unit
where I stayed for a week
every four hours I was woken up to take
medicine
they told me i was so close to dying
from all the internal bleeding
there wasn't a part of me that didn't
doubt it
the pain my body felt justified that
i sat there alone everyday
with frequent visits by family
i sat
there mostly thinking
about how i need to change
it was the first time in my life i'd become spiritual
i vowed that
I'd never do drugs again
it's the only promise i've ever been able to keep with myself
i've been clean for three years
now
and never thought about looking back
please think twice before you casually take drugs...you don't realize all
of the
damage it can cause until it's too late. I now have to worry about my health
everyday of my life.
I have juandiced skin, and I know that one day my liver is
going to catch up with me. If my story makes a difference
in at least one of
your lives i will feel better. Life is too short to waste it on self-pity. If
you're
depressed, I urge you, please tell someone how you feel so you can get
the help you need. No one will think you're
weird. They'll just be happy you
asked for help. Believe it or not, if you weren't part of this world, someone's
life
wouldn't be the same. My advice to you all? Love yourself, then go love
as many people as you can, hug someone
with a frown even if you are just
aquaintances, and never walk away from an argument on bad terms. you never know
when
you'll see that person again. please don't lose yourself in the hell of
depression.
This all came from stories i have found.
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